Life Coach, Relationship Coach, Career Coach, some think that these are new non-sense, new age business models which are provided by people who have no relevant background or expertise in the field.
Nothing can be further from the truth.
Although I agree that there are indeed incompetent people who are acting like professionals, one should remember that, this is not happening in the personal development area only, we meet these kind of people in every corner of our lives and in every career field.
The main reason why people think that "coaching" is non-sense is because they do not know what is happening in a coaching session and they can't possibly know as there is something called "client confidentiality". Furthermore, no person will ever tell you honestly and transparently what she has been going through in her relationship or career. No person will ever tell you that her situation is so dire that they need professional help. Most get professional help without telling anybody about it. Afterall who would want anybody to know that she wants to kill her boss, she is penniless, she hates every bit of her job and in the first instance she will run away, this would mean declaring to the whole world that she is an incompetent, desperate person (of course that is not true, but this is how most will perceive you once you talk about these things, they will sympathize with you, they will pity you but just a few will help). No sound-minded person would ever let the word spread out. And people getting help from professionals are the ones with a sound-mind.
So you see, you will not know any significant details about what is actually going on in a coaching session unless you are in one.
Let me tell you give you a general background about a standard career coaching session.
There are two types of main business models, you either become a freelancer, or an employee in a firm.
First, you have to determine the right model for yourself. You have to figure out which model fits your personality, and nature the best.
Some can't cope with hierarchy, co-workers, competition, pressure, management, fixed salary, the routine office work and so on. So no matter which company they choose, eventually around 2.5 years, they will get bored and will escape to another company only to go through the same pattern every 2.5 years or so, and some others, they will settle for the same job for 25 years, and will never get rich and try to live their lives in their annual leaves only. These types of people will always be unhappy employees settling for a standard ordinary life far away from their dreams.
Some can't cope with the hardships of developing a business, dealing with finances, finding clients, managing teams, taking initiatives, this is too overwhelming and too assertive for them, what they would like to do is only the "work" they are assigned to. Some people are worrisome types and they cannot feel in peace without knowing what they will earn the next month. These types cannot be successful freelancers.
So even from the very beginning, you have to know who you really are, and which path is the best path for you. Who can tell you or figure out who you really are? Your friends, your family, your co-workers? No, this can only be done by YOU and a professional therapist will help you on the task. Your social circle will only know about you, to the extend how much you prefer to show your true self to them. How many of us can dare to go naked before a friend, a family, a lover, a co-worker? They will only reflect you back what you have been exposing to them. But it is much easier to show your true colors to a professional whom you know will not judge you or give you biased advices as you do not have any emotional links with them. Plus, even if you try to hide yourself, a therapist will figure out what you have been hiding from her. This is a one-way road, at the end of which you will definitely know your true identity, your strengths and weaknesses.
Second, you have to know the nature of people in order to make a brand out of yourself. Yes you, yourself have to be a brand if you would like to "sell" yourself to the outer world and get the recognition you deserve. People will only buy a brand, if they find something attractive about that brand.
Do you know anything about the shopping trends of people? Do you know anything about the psychological factors which deeply affect the relationship between people? Do you know anything about how the ego works? Business means, "ego", you have to feed the ego of the people, you have to make compromises, you have to keep your calm against the pumped-up egos. Do you know anything about the behavioral patterns? How do you plan to climb up the stairs in your company without decoding the behavioral patterns of your bosses, managers or co-workers? How do you plan to establish and grow a network of diversity without getting to know different profiles?
Without getting deep in human psychology, you will not get far in your business whether as a freelancer or an employee. How can you learn about them? Yes you guessed it correctly, from an expert.
Third, people think that all relationships are similar in nature, whether it be a business relationship or a private relationship. Nothing can be further away from the truth! Your social and love relationships are based on mutual love ( at least this is the way it is supposed to be) whereas your business relationships are based solely on "benefit". A business, no matter how they claim that they value their people, has one goal in mind, and it is to earn and expand while gaining profit. A company will give value to their people as long as these people ensure the company's profit. There is nothing bad or unethical about this strategy, if you think about it, it is just an exchange, you make the business grow profit, the business pays you back as salary. The problem is that the companies act profesionally whereas the people grow emotional bonds with their jobs, act emotionally and feel rejected or betrayed if the company no longer wants to serve to them.
On the other hand, no healthy private relationship ever focuses on gaining a monetary benefit from the other. Thus, you cannot manage a business relationship, with the same methods you use with your family, friends or lovers.
A person who does not know how to manage a relationship which is based solely on benefit will struggle and get her heart broken during the process, and that is what happens every day especially with young people who have high hopes about their future career.
So you have two options, live and learn and struggle along the way, or get help from those who are experts in the field, and spare yourself from the extra pain.
This is a life and death matter, as you what you do as work defines the way you live and die.
Thus, before you jump into any assumptions why you should not get help from an expert, think about why you should.
With love & light
Irem
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